I get to v.s. I have to

Written By Carrie Freshour

Shifting from an "I have to" to an "I get to" mentality.

Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with all the have-to-dos. Feeling like I have to do so much.

 I have to go to the gym.

I have to drink more water.

I have to follow up on a meeting.

I have to have a hard conversation with a friend or a colleague.

 Something that has helped is a small shift in my language. It can cause a shift in our whole perspective.

I have worked diligently on my morning routines for the past three years, and a part of that ritual for me has been making a gratitude list. Every day I set out to list at least five things I am grateful for. Sometimes they are big things like the constantly deepening relationship I have with my husband or my children's lives. Other times it is small. The fresh fall breeze on my face or the site of the falling leaves as I sit on my front porch.

This small change in my daily routines has significantly impacted my life. It has calmed some of the constant [physical] feelings of anxiety that I battle daily. It has shifted by reactions and responses to life's circumstances. It has helped me better support my children without worry or fear. It has grounded me.

Today, while reading and practicing my mindfulness ritual, I was reminded of another simple shift in thinking. I have to vs. I get to.

When you begin to look at the things that we have to do, the things that maybe, if you are anything like me, you procrastinate on or avoid doing until you "have to,"; shifting that to I get to can begin to look like this:

  • I get to go to the gym; I am so thankful for the movement of my body and access to a gym.

  • I get to drink more water. Some people in our own country are suffering to get enough water, and I am complaining about drinking the amount that is helpful for my body. I am thankful for access to clean, sustainable drinking water.

  • I get to follow up on a meeting note. Some parts of all work are less enjoyable than others, and I am grateful I have the job.

  •  I get to have a hard conversation with a friend or a colleague. This is not something any of us look forward to. Often it comes with physical symptoms of dread; however, whenever I am a little vulnerable and have honest conversations, I break down walls of stigma and shame. I grew a little and learned more about myself, my reactions, and others.  

So, if you are anything like me, and sometimes you feel a little stuck in all the things you have to do, try to flip the scripts, and see if it doesn't just motivate you to do something you have been putting off too.

 #bealittlemorevoulnerable #growthmindset #SarahYoung #Igettomentality #traumasurvivors #yourmentalhealthmatters #gratitudepractice #traumainformed #worldmentalhealtheveryday

Carrie Freshour

Carrie Freshour is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and founder of Carrie Freshour Consulting, LLC, a firm that empowers and equips individuals and teams to maximize their potential, navigate systems change and break down stigma to address the long-standing needs in the behavioral health field. Equity, fairness, and equality are at the core of the strategies she guides her individual and group clients to implement. Carrie leads from a purpose-filled lens of strength and resilience, weaving together her lived experience, clinical training, and executive leadership; She’s not afraid to have hard conversations to help teams, organizations, and people break through barriers to achieve and sustain results.

Having worked as a clinical social worker for over twenty-five years, she has extensive experience developing programs, and public awareness efforts, writing policies, and creating training curriculums in diverse settings. She’s a dynamic speaker and facilitator, leading community conversations and conducting community-wide assessments. In addition, she has led internal organizational operations and created inclusive cultures that empower teams to work authentically and transparently.

http://carriefreshourconsulting.com
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